Deep Fried Pimento Cheese Balls

I love-love-love pimento cheese. I can't help it; I'm Southern, so along with biscuits and white gravy, fried pickles, and Moon Pies, pimento cheese is part of my DNA. I made a batch for a party last weekend, but the recipe makes so much that I had a lot leftover. What to do? Keep on eating pimento cheese, veggie bacon and avocado sandwiches for lunch each day? (Maybe. There's nothing wrong with that.) Or ... I could fry it.

Generally, I'm a bit appalled by some of the over-the-top fried, heart attack-inducing and artery clogging foods I see. Really, does a double bacon cheeseburger NEED to have the bun replaced by a glazed donut? Or does bacon even really need to be battered and fried and dipped in ranch, the universal dip for fried foods? Probably not, but I'm biased and so I decided pimento cheese needed to be fried. I experimented a bit with panko, as called for in the only similar recipe I could find on the internet. It didn't work out so hot, as that recipe didn't start with authentic pimento cheese itself, but a mixture egg whites. The balls just dissolved in the hot oil.



Take two, though, was a success! I know this has absolutely nothing to do with seitan and it probably has nothing redeeming about it as good food, but damn! I pulverized Morningstar veggie bacon strips and Cape Cod Sweet and Spicy Jalapeño potato chips, then mixed in a little flour. The pimento cheese balls were dipped in egg, then rolled in the bacon-chip mixture. I froze them -a very key step- for about three hours before frying them in hot oil for about 30 seconds. I dislike ranch dressing (more for overexposure than for flavor), so I served these with blue cheese dressing, but that was unnecessary. These things were so amazingly delicious! So, next time you have a hankering for over-the-top Southern yumminess, whip up some pimento cheese and fry away!


Laura's Pimento Cheese

8 oz. monterey jack cheese
8 oz. extra sharp Vermont cheddar (white)
6 oz. sharp NY cheddar (yellow)
1 - 1/2 big kosher dill pickle (preferably Claussen's)
1 - 4 oz. jar pimentos, drained
3 cloves garlic
6 oz. cream cheese

1/2 c. mayonnaise (I'd prefer Duke's, but you can't get it up here, so I used Hellman's
1 tsp. red wine vinegar
hot sauce to taste (I always end up using a lot more than I'd guess because the fire really gets subsumed by the cream cheese)
1-2 tsp. veggie worcestershire sauce

1) Using a food processor with a grating blade, shred monterey jack and both cheddars. Add pickle, pimentos and garlic. Add the cream cheese, pulsing.

2) Turn mixture out into a large bowl. Blend in mayonnaise, red wine vinegar, hot sauce and worcestershire sauce.