Deep Fried Pimento Cheese Balls

I love-love-love pimento cheese. I can't help it; I'm Southern, so along with biscuits and white gravy, fried pickles, and Moon Pies, pimento cheese is part of my DNA. I made a batch for a party last weekend, but the recipe makes so much that I had a lot leftover. What to do? Keep on eating pimento cheese, veggie bacon and avocado sandwiches for lunch each day? (Maybe. There's nothing wrong with that.) Or ... I could fry it.

Generally, I'm a bit appalled by some of the over-the-top fried, heart attack-inducing and artery clogging foods I see. Really, does a double bacon cheeseburger NEED to have the bun replaced by a glazed donut? Or does bacon even really need to be battered and fried and dipped in ranch, the universal dip for fried foods? Probably not, but I'm biased and so I decided pimento cheese needed to be fried. I experimented a bit with panko, as called for in the only similar recipe I could find on the internet. It didn't work out so hot, as that recipe didn't start with authentic pimento cheese itself, but a mixture egg whites. The balls just dissolved in the hot oil.



Take two, though, was a success! I know this has absolutely nothing to do with seitan and it probably has nothing redeeming about it as good food, but damn! I pulverized Morningstar veggie bacon strips and Cape Cod Sweet and Spicy Jalapeño potato chips, then mixed in a little flour. The pimento cheese balls were dipped in egg, then rolled in the bacon-chip mixture. I froze them -a very key step- for about three hours before frying them in hot oil for about 30 seconds. I dislike ranch dressing (more for overexposure than for flavor), so I served these with blue cheese dressing, but that was unnecessary. These things were so amazingly delicious! So, next time you have a hankering for over-the-top Southern yumminess, whip up some pimento cheese and fry away!


Laura's Pimento Cheese

8 oz. monterey jack cheese
8 oz. extra sharp Vermont cheddar (white)
6 oz. sharp NY cheddar (yellow)
1 - 1/2 big kosher dill pickle (preferably Claussen's)
1 - 4 oz. jar pimentos, drained
3 cloves garlic
6 oz. cream cheese

1/2 c. mayonnaise (I'd prefer Duke's, but you can't get it up here, so I used Hellman's
1 tsp. red wine vinegar
hot sauce to taste (I always end up using a lot more than I'd guess because the fire really gets subsumed by the cream cheese)
1-2 tsp. veggie worcestershire sauce

1) Using a food processor with a grating blade, shred monterey jack and both cheddars. Add pickle, pimentos and garlic. Add the cream cheese, pulsing.

2) Turn mixture out into a large bowl. Blend in mayonnaise, red wine vinegar, hot sauce and worcestershire sauce.

Beef Seitan and Cremini Stroganov

Suddenly, it has become cool enough that I can again cook in my own kitchen. (I'd like to be excited about this, and I kind of am, but then I remember that all too soon it will be below freezing when I wake up and there will be two feet of snow outside. I should stop being so weather-whiny.) Anyway, this means I can get back to trying out more dishes, and last night's dinner was Beef Seitan and Cremini Stroganov.





Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and say that this dish was awesome. It took almost NO time to prepare (assuming you have the seitan on hand already) and was really rich and delicious without being super-heavy. There were no leftovers, although next time I might double the recipe so that, not only could we have had second helpings, we could have it for lunch the next day. And by "we," I mean "I."

Beef Seitan and Cremini Stroganov

one recipe beef seitan (about 9 oz)
1-2 T flour
8 oz. cremini or button mushrooms, sliced thickly
1/4 c red onion, minced
1-2 t garlic, minced
1 T olive oil
3 T butter, divided
3/4 c vegetarian beef broth
1/4 Marsala wine
2 t vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c plain Greek yogurt
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper


Cut seitan into cubes no bigger than an inch square. Toss with the flour to coat and set aside. Slice mushrooms, mince onion and garlic.

Add olive oil and one tablespoon of butter to a saute pan over medium heat. When butter has melted, add mushrooms, salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, till they exude their juices, about 7 minutes. Add Marsala and raise heat to high; stir well, scraping up any mushroom bits, as they absorb the wine. When all the liquid is absorbed, remove the mushrooms to a bowl and turn the heat back to medium-high.

Add the remaining tablespoons of butter to the pan; melt and add red onion and garlic. Cook, stirring well, about two to three minutes. Add seitan cubes. Tossing gently, let seitan brown (about five minutes). Add mushrooms and broth. Raise heat to high and let the broth reduce to about a third. Remove from heat, stir in yogurt and Worcestershire sauce. Serve over noodles. Yumminess.

Dongting Stir-Fried Duck Breast

I know ... it has been a very long time since my last post. That's partially because I've been rather busy, but mostly because, in the summertime, our house heats up incredibly quickly whenever I use the kitchen. This means that, for the most part, we're cooking on the grill (or getting takeaway ... thanks, local pizzeria and Chinese restaurants, for doing your part to help me gain some weight). It also means I don't make seitan at home; that hour or so that it simmers on the stove would turn my kitchen and living room into a steam room.

Even though it's been on the warmer side lately, the evenings are cool, so I've started back with some stove top cooking - but it has to be quick, so homemade seitan's still out. I'm still enamoured of May Wah veggie meats, and yesterday I received a great big package of seitan "duck breast." Hmm, stir-fry?

I've only ever eaten real duck once in my life, and I only vaguely remember it. I think my parents had guests or relatives in town and decided to take them to a new (read: not the neighborhood place with the flaming pupu platter I loved and cockroaches I didn't, but fashionable and located in what was then the suburbs) Chinese restaurant. I got the duck. The only reason this has stood out in my rather fuzzy collection of childhood memories is because of how grossly fatty I found it. Crispy skin, yes, but oozy, squashy, just plain nasty fatty. Yuck. Okay, I know some people love that; I'm not one of them.

The seitan duck has no such drawback. It came frozen in a big (seven pounds?) bag, so I'll be trying lots of recipes, but last night, I used one "breast" to make Dongting stir-fried duck breast. While this version comes seasoned, I think you could easily used homemade chicken seitan because the marinade changes its flavor.





Marinade: I didn't measure, but I'd say a couple tablespoons each if not otherwise noted

soy sauce (some recipes call for a mix of light and dark; I only have the one)
dry sherry
a splash of rice wine vinegar
a splash of chili sauce

Ingredients:

one large seitan duck breast (or chicken seitan)
6 scallions
4 chilis, deseeded and thinly sliced (I used a mix of sweet red chilis and spicy yellow)
1 bell pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1" piece of ginger root, peeled and minced
vegetable oil for cooking
sesame oil for finishing

Thinly slice the seitan and add it to the marinade ingredients; stir well and let it sit while you prepare the vegetables.

Thinly slice the scallions; keep the white bits separate from the green, as you'll add them separately during cooking. Prepare the garlic, ginger and peppers.

Heat a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil in a wok or large saute pan till hot. Add the marinated seitan and cook, stirring, for a few minutes till it has begun to brown or crisp slightly. Turn the heat down to medium-low and add the peppers. Stir and cook for a couple of minutes, till peppers seem to be softened. Add the garlic, ginger and scallion whites. Cook a further minute, then add scallion greens. Stir to incorporate and turn off heat. Serve with a small drizzle of sesame oil atop.

I served it with brown rice, but noodles would be just as good.

Now I guess I need to explore the world of, well, what the heck one does with seven pounds (minus a little) of duck breast. I think crispy duck might require the oven, so that's out for now, but perhaps there are some moo shu duck pancakes in the future.

Fried Chicken - an update

I made the fried chicken again. In fact, this time, I made tons and left it in the fridge for my husband, who was out of town/getting back in town as I left town. I figured there'd be some leftover, though; there wasn't.

I didn't bother with the panko, but went ahead and did a simple Southern-style: flour with spices and herbs, shallow-fry in a pan on the stove. And my goodness - it's good! Not much else to say about it, other than, damn, it's good! And I'd really like some more. I just felt like putting up the photos since I managed to take some (probably only because I made so much).

When we lived in Brooklyn, there was a vegetarian Asian restaurant - Vegetarian Palate - around the corner from our apartment and it delivered, which is particularly nice after a long day and a four story brownstone. I was particularly fond of their Orange Tangerine Beef and their Hawaiian Chicken. Even better, there were two veggie restaurants near my school and office in Manhattan: Red Bamboo and Vegetarian Paradise 2, both (oddly) located on the same block of 4th St. (I figured if any of y'all travel to New York, you might like the names of some tasty veg places.) At all three, the variety of mock meat dishes amazed me and I longed to be able to reproduce them. Now, I'm kind of less impressed with their chefs' skills because I just ordered an immense quantity of mock meats from May Wah, and it's like having these restaurants in my freezer.

I know, I know - this has nothing to do with seitan other than that many May Wah products are made from seitan. But, I'm so excited that it must be shared. Last night, I made soy-agave lacquered salmon with sesame noodles and a cucumber salad. Unfortunately, we were starving, so it got eaten before it got photographed. The mock salmon is weirdly salmony, although it would never fool someone. It was pretty good, though.




However, of all the things we've tried so far, the absolute, stand-out best has got to be the chicken drumsticks. They're so good, in fact, that I just ordered a case. They even have a little "bone" made of sugarcane so that you can hold them like a real meaty drumstick! (That might appall some; I liked it.) I tried them fried (and will do so again) and barbecued, which was amazing. I have quite a bit of yuba sitting in the pantry, so I also plan on covering them with "skin" before frying them as an experiment.

So, just a shameless plug for May Wah - www.vegieworld.com. Try it - tis fabulous!

Capt'n Crunch Fried Seitan

Capt'n Crunch Fried Seitan. Okay, not gourmet and definitely not healthful. But good. So, apparently there is (or was?) a chain of restaurants called Planet Hollywood that I somehow never noticed the existence of, and this chain was famous for their chicken fingers made with breakfast cereals and a creole mustard sauce.

Capt'n Crunch Fried Seitan with Potato Salad and Coleslaw

I'm not a big fan of chain restaurants; I venture into them extremely rarely, like once a year, and generally only because I'm staying in a hotel located in the middle of Nowhere, New Jersey, whose only nearby restaurant with a bar (very important when visiting family) is T.G.I. Fridays, or because my friends and I have ventured across the state line into the land of box stores (hello, Target!) and are now too tired, overwhelmed by commerce, and starving to make it back home and thus instead must graze at the next-door Chili's.

Anyway, so all that is to say that not only have I never heard of the recipe, I never heard of the restaurant ... except, mentions of this dish keep turning up lately and thus I had to make it, or something like it. Much like the explorations of restaurant-style General Tso's, I came up with a lot of similar recipes. I just couldn't bring myself to buy two kinds of sugary breakfast cereals, since we're more of a English muffin and egg kind of household. (I actually just threw away a giant box of breakfast cereal; we bought it three years ago for my nephews when they came to visit. Apparently two small kids don't need the family size box.) So, I did use the Capt'n Crunch, but substitute panko for cornflakes. And the spices seemed a little dull, too, so those got upped with additions of oregano and paprika.

And the sauce just seemed to complicated ... I mean, who really needs a FIFTEEN ingredient dipping sauce for fried chicken? It's supposed to be a "creole mustard sauce," but while that's as may be, I don't quite know if that's really going to make or break the dish. So we went with honey mustard. All in all, this was pretty damn tasty, if a little sweet - probably a honey mustard/dijon blend would have been better, but I was out of dijon.

I'm catering a luncheon for mostly kids this week (an end of school celebration), and I've been wondering what to make for the veggie adults coming - and this is it.

Chinese Take-Away

Hoisin "Chicken" in Lettuce Wraps & Scallion Pancakes

For most of my adult life, I haven't been a huge fan of Chinese food. In comparison with Vietnamese or Japanese or Thai choices, it seemed to be the most boring (and gloopy) option out of local Asian restaurants. But, my husband likes it, plus we now live in a town with fewer choices, so we've been getting take away from this one place fairly often. And it is good, although like all overly salted, sugared, sauced, greased, and generally unnecessarily fattened up foods, it leaves me feeling a little disappointed. It isn't that I mind consuming extra calories - I mind wasting them on something like an undeserving dish. I'd rather have a giant slice of Opera Cake than one of those nasty pastas-in-a-bread-bowl from Domino's.

Anyway, since I hate that feeling, I started making some of the dishes we order most often - scallion pancakes and General Tso's. I had never even had scallion pancakes till my husband ordered them, and I was pretty unimpressed. Why eat this bland, greasy, doughy, chewy triangle that only tastes like the soy sauce you dip it in? I made them for him anyway, though, and - oh my - homemade and fresh from the skillet, those things are good! And they freeze well, too. Just layer them with parchment paper and freeze flat (obviously) in a ziploc bag - they defrost in the microwave in seconds before frying.

I start out liking the General Tso's at restaurants, both the tofu and seitan versions, but by the time I get even halfway through the dish, the sauce seems to be weighing me down - plus, the protein's almost always deep fried. Don't get me wrong; I love deep fried foods. I'm just not sure they belong everywhere.

But that's what GT's like, isn't it? The versions I made at home were pretty much the same, which of course was the goal - getting the recipes from internet sites like Allrecipes.com, they were advertised as being "just like the restaurant version!" And they were. The amounts of sugar, soy sauce and cornstarch most versions call for is insane, but since they all read like that, I made it like that until I tried Emeril's recipe last week. Okay, so this is a total plug for his recipe, but really - it was a completely different and much improved dish. Obviously, I used chicken seitan rather than chicken chicken, but that's not a particularly big difference. So try his version.

Finally, last night I wanted something to go with the leftover scallion pancakes that I knew were lurking in the freezer, but I didn't want a heavy dish (aka, anything with rice or noodles) or one that took much time. Voilà - Hoisin "Chicken" in Lettuce Cups! My mother used to make something like this when I was little, and I thought it was awesome. I still do - I wish I had her recipe. But while this one was a little saucier, it came together in minutes and was not only rather tasty, but fun to eat.

Hoisin "Chicken" in Lettuce Cups

1 T vegetable oil
1 T fresh ginger, minced
1 T fresh garlic, minced
4 scallions, chopped

1-2 c seitan, diced
1/2 can water chestnuts, diced
4 large cremini mushrooms, diced (I'm sure you can use whatever - I had cremini)

1/4 c hoisin sauce
1 t rice vinegar
1 t vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
a couple shakes of sesame oil

1 head Boston Bibb,Romaine or Greenleaf lettuce, washed and leaves separated

In the vegetable oil over high heat, saute the ginger, garlic and scallions for about a minute, till fragrant. Add the seitan, water chestnuts and mushrooms and continue to saute, stirring, for about five minutes. Add the liquids, incorporating well, and cook another one to two minutes.

Place a generous spoonful on each lettuce leaf (but not too generous, or you'll end up with a mess) and serve.